A Trilogy From Blissful Gardenz Inc

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Contact Blissful Gardenz Inc to learn more about our literary works. To inquire or place an order for our book, you may reach us through email or the inquiry form on this page. We hope to hear from you soon!


Thank you for your interest in this novel, a romantic seriocomic literary fiction set in modern-day reality. This novel is episode one of a trilogy which chronicles the love life of three men from their points of view. Ray Marshall, Kamal Brown, and Adam Gray were reunited after not seeing one another for about 20 years. They met at a neighborhood development conference, which provided an opportunity for them to reconnect, and they discussed their ongoing challenges in their love lives.


Ray has been married to Desiree for 13 years, but he does not feel the joy of marriage. It appears that his loneliness worsens with each child the couple has, making him wonder whether he has a wife or a mother for his children.


Kamal had a wonderful but brief marriage to Kandie, his college sweetheart. Things fell apart due to issues surrounding having children. Kamal felt he was treated badly in the legal proceedings surrounding their divorce. He later married Bonita, who he regards as the model wife. Things took a dramatic turn when Kandie wants to get back into Kamal’s life using their only child as bait.


Adam is a 42-year-old widower taking care of his two children for three years. He came to a proverbial fork in the road. He must decide whether to marry Nora, a 20-year-old hottie he fell in love with and confront the myriad of challenges associated with it or marry Aneida, a 39-year-old divorcee with two children who can be a mother to his children.


Ray, Kamal, and Adam discussed and offered solutions that are uncertain whether they will produce the desired results. The situations of these three friends present a conundrum: if you had to make an important choice using your heart or your brain, what would you use?


This novel is intended for those who considered themselves young, either in the mind or body or both.


For neophytes who are still trying to figure out what love means, this novel may be of help.


For newlyweds who have no idea what is in stock for them after the “I do” and the music stops, this novel may give you some insight.


For recently married couples whose straight line with their spouse has become a triangle with the children being at the opposite angle, this may help you find other angles to maintain your relationship.


For those who have been married for so long and complacency has set in, this novel may help you rejuvenate your flame or help you avoid some pitfalls.


For those mature couples who have put up with each other for so long that they have adopted a watchful waiting approach for a natural end as the best strategy, what can I tell you? Well, read it together for fun! 


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After a few months, I became convinced that I had known enough about Desiree to conclude that she is the one for me. She is intelligent and very smart. She has a beautiful heart and a beautiful body to match. I added one plus one and got a million and one. I let her know my intentions by sending her a bouquet of red roses, a box of chocolate and a card in which I had written:


My love for you

My love for you

Is more than I can qualify

My desire for you

Is more than I can quantify

My longing for you

Is more than I can justify

My affection for you

Is more than I can characterize and

My constant thinking about you

Is more than I am willing to admit

Stay blessed, my love.


“Awwww!”, remarked Adam. “That is so nice. What did she say?”


“Honestly, I don’t remember but I am sure that it was not “leave me alone!” We became closer afterwards. I was always happy to be with her and I seized every opportunity to do so”.


“Like feeding the homeless?”, Kamal inquired.


“What exactly is your problem?”, Ray asked Kamal jokingly.


“Just wanted to keep it real, brother! An action can be judged according to the intention behind it.” Kamal explained.


“Both actions are not mutually exclusive in nobility. It is noble to feed the homeless and it also noble for me to take care of myself too”, Ray countered.


Ray and Desiree continued their friendship. This gradually became a courtship. They started going out on dates as if they have been joined by fate. Soon, their families became aware of the relationship. Later, Ray graduated from law school and took a job with a law firm on K Street in Washington DC. This was home coming of some sort since he grew up in Lanham in Prince Georges County, a few miles from the Nation’s Capital. Before he left New York, he proposed marriage to Desiree leaving no doubt what he has in mind.

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My mind

I sincerely hope you don’t mind

That you are always on my mind

For you are gentle, nice and kind

And you are the best a man can find


Although my love for you is totally blind

I know that you are very hot, front and behind

So, let us join hands and minds

As I hereby ask for your hand, hoping you won’t mind

I love you.


“Our wedding took place in Baltimore in Maryland where Desiree’s parents reside. We timed the wedding such that it will be two weeks after Desiree’s graduation from the university. Prior to the wedding, the most challenging task was securing an apartment for us to reside. Obviously, I had to leave the apartment that I was sharing with a friend in preparation for my wedding. You guys know that as a bachelor you only think about yourself, which is very easy. As a married man who is in love, that is a totally different ball game. I had to consider the neighborhood, proximity to parks, grocery stores et cetera. Those apartment rental people can really give you a big headache with their requirements. The well established high rise apartments tend to be luxury brands costing two arms and two legs while the affordable ones tend to be in not-so-great neighborhoods with unwanted co-tenants like roaches and rats. I saw a very affordable apartment in a somewhat good neighborhood. When I read the online review of the complex, I was mortified. As part of their advertisement, the apartment complex boasted of eliminating pests. However, a current tenant in apartment 202 contradicted the apartment managers. He related that the management only reduced roaches by fifty percent and rats by seventy-five percent in the last two years. The tenant stated that they have so many rats and roaches that it makes sense to establish a Pest Planned Parenthood to offer some contraceptives to the rats and roaches.”


“In the end, I rented an affordable suite in The Choice Apartments in Silver Spring, Maryland”, Ray concluded. “Shopping for needed things was an interesting experience for me also. However, the decision for the bed was the most intriguing to me. I had a great fantasy about the size of the marital bed. Does size matter?, I often asked myself”.

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Size of the marital bed

My preference is twin

For me, that’s a win win

There is no space to roll away

In my arms, she’ll always stay


Some may prefer queen

They know what they’ve seen

Maybe they need a little space

For their marriage to go at a steady pace


Others may opt for a king

They may not need much mingling

So long as they are okay with it

I surely have no problem with it.


No, Ray did not buy a twin bed after all. He got a queen bed instead. Well, fantasy and reality are not the same.


The wedding day finally came and it was a blast. They were married a little over three years after they met. It was a joyous occasion. Ray got Desiree’s hand in marriage, thereby fulfilling his desire. Desiree was very happy too, smiling from “Cape to Cairo”. Their friends and families celebrated with them. 

Life was good. If you could get into Ray’s mind, this is what you will hear..

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Palpitation of love

I am running on sunshine

I am swimming on sunshine

I am gliding on sunshine

I am flying on sunshine

I am dancing on sunshine

I am glowing in sunshine


“So, did you invite the homeless people from Brooklyn to your wedding?”, Kamal asked jokingly. “After all, they helped you get the girl”, he concluded.

Ray simply shook his head and ignored Kamal’s comment.


Adam turned to Kamal and said, “Big guy, stop interrupting Ray. I am really curious to know why he defined himself as being marriedly unmarried when he seems to have married the perfect lady of his wildest dreams.”


“Okay! Mum is the word”, Kamal agreed and motioned his hand over his mouth as if zipping a zipper shut from left to right.


“You are right Adam. Desiree was indeed my desire, but our problem started on our wedding night”, Ray replied in a voice that seems to have resigned to fate.


“What happened?” “Did you have performance issues?” “Were you firing blanks?” “Did your soldiers run away from the battlefield?” Adam asked many questions in close succession without waiting for a response from Ray.

Ray simply shook his head in negation.

Part one; Section two:

Progress in the reverse direction


After the merriments and dancing celebrations, the couple left for their apartment. They dumped whatever they were able to carry into the living room without going back to the car for the rest. Obviously, those can wait till tomorrow. They have both wanted to make their wedding night the first time out. Both of them believed that “virgin” is not a word that should be reserved for olive oil. Alas! The magic moment is here. The long awaited moment. The moment of truth. The intimate moment.


Intimate moments

Intimate moments

Sacred moments

You call them forbidden enjoyments


Intimate moments

Bonding moments

You wish the bonding lasts longer


Intimate moments

Thinking moments

You never remember what you thought about


Intimate moments

Sharing moments

You share something you are happy to share


Intimate moments

Caring moments

You are never sure who the caregiver was


Intimate moments

Loving moments

You think you made love or gave love


Intimate moments

Doing moments

You know what you did


Intimate moments

Rewarding moments

You get your prize in nine months


Intimate moments

Listening moments

You hear your heart beating fast


Intimate moments

Talking moments

You talk in words but not in clear speech


Intimate moments

Taking moments

You can’t quantify what you took


Intimate moments

Nourishing moments

You get cooling from sweating


Intimate moments

Relaxing moments

You get relaxation by contracting your muscles


Intimate moments

Giving moments

You give stuff you never want back


Intimate moments

Worshipping moments

You get your recompense for doing it right


Ray was ecstatic. He mused to himself “the long awaited day has come and the night to remember is finally here”. After they settled down in the apartment, they walked lovingly into the bedroom. Ray looked at Desiree. She was indeed the most beautiful lady in the world. He held her hand and she said, “there is something I need to tell you”.


“Yes, baby. I am listening”, replied Ray.


It is really debatable if he was really listening as he was holding her hands and pulling her closer to his chest with an unbelievable “my prayer has been answered” arousal.

“I am in my period’’, Desiree revealed.


“What period?”, Ray asked and suddenly, he realized that she meant her menstrual period and the implication of this made him freeze. He is not going to savor the juice of the forbidden fruit until her period is over. Immediately, he had mixed emotions of unbelief, confusion and shock. This rapidly degenerated to disappointment and anger in a matter of seconds. Ray added one plus one in his mind and got one million with the thought that Desiree may be one of those women who keep important secrets from their husbands like he had seen on The Jerry Springer Show. This annoyed him even more.


“And you knew this all day and you did not say anything?’’ he shouted while trying, quite unsuccessfully, to calm down.


“It started last night,’’ she tried to explain.


This only infuriated Ray even more and he replied, “So you knew this all day and you did not say anything?’’ he reiterated. The tone of his voice showed that he could not control his anger.


At this point, she withdrew from him and asked in a relatively calm tone “What did you want me to do? You know as well as I do that I can’t stop myself from menstruating.”

“This is not about your period. This is about your lack of adequate communication of something this important”, Ray shouted.

“Why should I be telling you something so personal when you were not yet my husband”, she argued.


“At least you could have given me a hint that there will be nothing tonight”, Ray countered. “This was supposed to be our special night. Now it is worse than an ordinary night. We are arguing on our wedding night!”, he submitted.

Part one; Section two:

A night of nightmares

It was supposed to be a special night

An extraordinary night

A night of blissful joy

A night of release of inhibition

A night of eating the forbidden fruit

A night of delightful passion

A night that lasts forever

Now, it is a nightmare

It is a night of disappointment

It is a night of sadness

It is a night of dashed expectation

It is a night to forget.


Desiree could not hide her profound disappointment too. This reaction from Ray was shocking and unexpected. It was too bad. “This is a natural phenomenon and I am not going to menstruate forever”, she said to herself. She walked back to the living room wondering what kind of a selfish and unreasonable man she has just married! “How could he not understand that things do happen that can change perfect plans? What will he do if he plans a perfect outdoor program for months only for a tornado or torrential rainfall or an earthquake to occur at the site of the event?”, she continued to ask herself many questions without answers as her anger started building up in geometric progression too.

As far as she was concerned, he had behaved as if the world had come to an end. She knew her period lasts for only five days and it will be completely over in the next four days. She also subtracted one from one million in her mind and got zero. She wondered if Ray had married her only for her treasures down below. This thought annoyed her even more and she walked back to the bedroom door. Ray was still dazed from realizing what just went down or rather, what is not going to go down.


“I thought you were telling the truth when you said that you were marring me because you love me?”, she snarled at him.

“I love you like no man has ever loved any woman in the history of mankind! That is why it is painfully disappointing that you did not give me a hint. Saying I love you is using words for expression, making love is the real deal that proves the love between the couple”, Ray emphasized.


After a few minutes of awkward silence, Ray looked at Desiree and made a fence-mending remark “you look smashingly beautiful in your dress. It is totally worthy of every penny spent on it”.

Desiree forced a smile in appreciation.

Unfortunately, Ray wasn’t done. He continued, you are so attractive and inviting but you are like an exquisitely polished diamond behind a glass on display with a sign that reads - Don’t touch the glass”.

Desiree became disappointed again.


It was indeed a very long day and the night was not comforting either. In the end, both of them just got tired and retired to bed knowing that they have to pack their bags in the morning for their afternoon flight to Puerto Rico for their honeymoon. They slept on the queen size bed, but not in the position that Ray had envisaged. He faced the East and Desiree faced the West. For the first time, Ray wished he had bought a King size bed. He felt that he needed that space. “Why do you want to be close to a woman you can’t touch?”, he asked himself.


As he was beginning to fall asleep and voyaged into slumberland, he remained apprehensive. He wondered what the next day would bring. “Tomorrow morning is the beginning of a new day, the day of a new beginning”, he mused to himself.


Eventually, morning came heralded by the glorious golden rays from the sun in its splendor. The cock doesn’t crow in Silver Spring. Chicken are in deep fries not on the street. Ray did not feel refreshed at all. He still did not know how best to handle what happened the previous night. This was not one of the topics that had been brought up during their pre-marital counseling sessions. Ray became pre-occupied with what to say if his family and friends were to tease him and crack any stupid “wedding night jokes” as this will be terribly distasteful. He remembered having participated in those newlywed jokes before. Now, he realized that it was not something good to do. “Those busybodies who want to put their noses in the matrimonial affairs of others should have their noses chopped off”, he opined.


He knew that the best course of action is not to say anything but smile and take whatever joke was thrown at him as payback. It will always be his duty to protect his wife. Therefore, he put on an “Oscar- winning performance” while answering those numerous “just checking on you” phone calls. These phone calls also made him realize one important thing; it is not a good idea to be calling a newlywed couple the morning after their marriage. In fact, it is a terribly horrible idea. In his own case, he is not able to do what he would have loved to be doing. Nonetheless, he could imagine how annoyed he would be if he is really busy getting to know his wife in the way he wanted to know her and all these stupid, annoying, and unnecessary phone calls were coming in.


Ray looked at Kamal and remarked “imagine somebody calling in the morning after the wedding and he asks you if you were a real dude last night and you replied that nothing happened. He is going to quickly hang up the phone saying that he is sorry for your predicament. However, in his mind he is never going to think of you as a real dude anymore, but as a dude without the “e”. So, it is…”


“What is a dude without the “e”?”, Adam asked interrupting Ray while trying to process the information. “Never mind, I got it”, Adam remarked after he understood what Ray meant.


“I quite understand what you mean. No man wants to go from being a real dude to being called a dud in twenty-four hours”, Kamal opined.


Therefore, Ray did his best and did not give any insight to anybody that things did not go well on their first night. After all, protecting a wife’s interest and never shaming her is a quality of a good husband. Yeah! Even though it was a night to forget, Ray behaved as if everything was okay. The only exception was with the person who should matter the most, his wife. In essence, he screwed up right at the gate of their marriage because he did not get to screw.


The flight to Puerto Rico was quite uneventful. It was a trip outside the United States that is considered to be a trip within the United States. Therefore, there were no difficulties with checking in and out, border and customs issues and time zones. The relationship between Ray and Desiree gradually improved. Although, holding hands and small love talks can be a soothing balm for a bruised ego, it was obvious that this was not the honeymoon both had hoped for. Despite the fantastic weather in San Juan and the beautiful beaches, Ray stayed indoors most of the time during the first three days of arriving for their honeymoon. He preferred to watch the television instead. Ray flipped through the one hundred and twenty-five channels over and over again without actually watching anything. Eventually, the fourth day came. It was awkward at first but they got through it together. It was worth the wait. Ray felt released from his bondage but Desiree never really understood why this was so much of a big deal to her husband.


She summoned the courage to ask him during a rest period between the sheets. “Why did you make so much mountain out of this molehill?”, she inquired.


“My dear, it is not a molehill. It is really a big mountain, bigger and taller than Mount Everest. It is a guy thing”, he replied trying to catch his breath.


“Are you trying to say that I can’t understand it because I am not a man?”, she wondered.


“In a way, yes!, he replied. The feeling is not the same for a man as compared to a woman and the need for it is different too. It is biology driven by hormones and I believe it is only clear if one has had the first hand experience of it”.


“I don’t think it is so complicated that women will not understand how men feel about it”, she countered.


“It is not about how complicated it is. In fact, it is very simple and straight forward. It is a kick and start, pull the trigger and fire the weapon kind of a thing. Nothing complicated at all. The challenge is not the act itself, but it is about understanding the differences between men and women in the intensity and the feeling they have regarding it. I really think women absolutely need to understand the significance of this for an enduring relationship. Let us look at it this way. I know that very often, people think about mismatched comparison as comparing apples and oranges. If you have never seen nor tasted an apple or an orange before, you could still imagine that apples versus oranges comparisons are far off. This is because you can say apples are spelled differently from oranges and use your imagination as per how they are different. In the subject matter that we are discussing, it will be like comparing apples and pineapples. If you have never seen nor tasted an apple or a pineapple before, you are bound to think that apples and pineapples are related. It will be easy to imagine that pineapples are just apples with some pines. However, you and I know that apples and pineapples are not remotely close in comparison at all whether in size, shape, color or taste. So, my dear, apple is a fruit and pineapple is a fruit. That is the end of the similarity when it comes to that feeling for a man in comparison to a woman”, Ray concluded.


“Interesting!”, Desiree remarked.


“I am sorry for over-reacting and being cranky in the last few days. I hope you understand”, Ray stated. She nodded in affirmation, but future events did not support such understanding and willingness to accept what Ray was trying to explain.

A beautiful beach in San Juan where Ray did not go until after four days

After three weeks of holiday, Ray resumed back to work. The honeymoon was over. Desiree was sending out applications trying to join the labor force. One bright Saturday morning, Desiree felt sick and was vomiting frequently. She remained nauseous for most part of the day and it then struck her that her period was late. Ray was excited and quickly went to get a pregnancy test kit from the neighborhood Bestway Pharmacy and Stores. Not particularly sure which one to buy, he read the labels and got the one that claimed to be ninety-nine percent accurate and rushed home. Alas! The pregnancy test was positive. Ray was ecstatic.


He looked at Adam and recalled. “I was so happy. I am going to be a father. Around the house, I would walk fast, then quickly slow down so as not to show my excitement. It was almost like doing the “hop, skip and jump” of triple jump sport event. It was a great feeling. Unfortunately, it was the beginning of another problem”.


“What happened?”, Adam inquired.

 

“Desiree metamorphosed and became Misses “No” and Lady “leave me alone” to every love advances. It was really frustrating. She looked wonderful to me. Yes, she might have vomited a couple of times in the morning and was mainly taking soups and crackers, but after she takes shower, she looks even better than the knockout that she was when I first met her. Unfortunately, I was not on her mind at all. It was as if I did something bad against her. She did not want to be near me at all. Initially, I tried to understand that it was the “pregnancy hormone” thing but it just persisted to the point that I started getting a feeling that she was just using pregnancy as an excuse and we started arguing and fighting all over again. The day I lost my cool was when she accused me of being inconsiderate. We have not had anything in two weeks. I told her that this was eternity, but she wouldn’t listen. My head was all jacked up. I went to the living room, but I couldn’t remember why I went there. So, I left for the kitchen and by the time I got there, I had forgotten why I went there. I opened the fridge, but even though it was filled with a lot of goodies that I had bought hoping that Desiree would eat something, I still couldn’t set my mind on anything. So, I went back to the bedroom where she had covered herself with the bed sheet and I yelled at her in a soft voice…..”


“I am confused here. How do you yell in a soft voice?”, Adam interjected.

“Well, when we later discussed this, Desiree claimed that I was yelling at her, but I know that I spoke in a soft voice”, Ray explained.


“Yeah right! Soft voice indeed!”, Kamal remarked with tongue in cheek.


Ray continued “anyway, I told her that when MC Hammer said “you can’t touch this”, he was happy and dancing. I made it clear to her that the “you can’t touch this” that she is forcing down my throat is unreasonable, it is unfair and it is making me miserable. Then I left the bedroom for the living room again. When I got there, I sat down on the sofa for about three seconds and went back to the bedroom. This time she had covered her head with the bed sheet so that I couldn’t see her face. I was very convinced and absolutely sure that she must have been laughing at me under those stupid covers. Nonetheless, I told her again in a soft voice that her acts are terrible and they are making me very angry.”

“And what did she say?”, Kamal inquired.

“She did not respond at all, even though she was not asleep”, Ray replied. At that point, I just left the house and slammed the door”.


“That is really unfortunate”, Adam remarked. It is what I term to be the “Early Pregnancy Paradox or EPP for short”.


“What is that Doc?”, Kamal inquired.

“It is a phenomenon that tends to occur when a lady is just pregnant. Although, she feels miserable with the pregnancy-related nausea and vomiting, the so called hyperemesis gravidarum but she actually looks really attractive when she freshens up. Her breasts in the front yard will be getting bigger and her derriere will be getting smoother and more inviting in the back yard. Realize that at this point, she has not really gained much weight and all those swelling everywhere have not set in. So, she is looking really hot to the husband who then cannot help himself and would want more love action. However, she is feeling sick and miserable. Therefore, she cannot comprehend why he does not understand that that is not the time for such”, Adam explained.


“What then is the solution for this impasse?”, Ray asked.


“I don’t know. I guess if women are aware of EPP, maybe they will understand that asking the husband to be gentle in the act rather than rejecting him is the easier solution”, Adam remarked. “It is more detrimental to leave their husbands on ice at anytime, especially in a situation like that. The fact is that love will be erupting in his system like a volcano that is ready to release the hot molten magma in its core.”


“I agree with you”, Kamal added. “Ladies generally make a big blunder by saying that when a man is in the mood, fifty percent of his brain is gone”.


“Of course that is an incorrect statement. However, we have to realize that they do not have any insight into the issue at all. Otherwise, they will know that it is not fifty percent of his brain that is gone, it is ninety nine percent of his brain that is gone”, Ray clarified.


“How will any sensible wife maltreat her husband when ninety nine percent of his brain has shut down and expects him to be reasonable?”, Adam asked rhetorically.

Part one; Section two:

No turning back

If a man is in the mood

Nothing matters except his manhood

When he is standing up

Then he is truly really up

If he wants the beat to go on

All that matters is for the show to go on


“Anyway”, Ray continued, the day Patricia was born was an exciting day for my family. She looked so cute and so innocent. At least, that was what I thought back then until she and her other siblings started showing their true colors.


“Now, I am confused”, Adam stated. “Do you have issues with your little kids also?”, he asked Ray.


“Well, I have four children and they are all driving me nuts with their mother. They are Patricia the parasite, Paige the pest, Bryan the blood sucker and Lisa the leech”, Ray surmised.


“Wow!”, Kamal and Adam shouted in unison.


“What is going on man?”, Kamal inquired breaking his code of silence.


“It is terrible and unfair!”, Ray complained. When we were expecting Patricia, Desiree convinced me to buy anything with baby-affixed to it. I mean, I bought everything from baby cot, play pen, diapers, toys, you name it. I drew the line and said a big “NO” when she suggested that we should look into buying life insurance for a baby that was not even born yet! Anyway, Patricia was born and she came home two days later. Now, I could understand the baby sleeping on our bed the first week and maximum of two weeks, but six weeks later, she is still sleeping on our bed between me and Desiree. One day, I got fed up and I confronted Desiree in a very nice and soft manner.

“Why is the baby separating us?”, I asked Desiree.

“What did you mean by that?”, Desiree responded with a question.

“Patricia has been sleeping between us since she was born. What is up with that?”, Ray explained his point.

“Oh I see. I need her to be close to me. This way, if she wakes up at night and needs my attention, it will be easier for me to attend to her”, Desiree answered.

“I think she should be in her own bed in her own room. We will put the baby monitor on. If she cries in her room, you can hear her and you can then go to attend to her. You should then come back to our bed when you finish”, Ray recommended.

“But she is too young to be by herself”, Desiree pointed out.

“No, I am sure she is old enough. The obstetrician already discharged you from postnatal care and the pediatrician has discharged her from neonatal care also. I am sure that we can follow their expert opinions and we can discharge her from our bed too”, Ray suggested.

“No. I will not feel comfortable with that”, Desiree voiced her concern.

“Okay. As a compromise, we can rearrange our sleeping arrangement. From right to left, it will be you, me and the baby. This way, the baby still stays on our bed but not in between us”, Ray explained.

“No. That will put the baby behind you. I am afraid that you may roll over the baby when you are sleeping soundly”, Desiree stated being somewhat apprehensive.

“There is no chance of that happening. However, if that is your concern, the baby can be next to you. So, it will be me, you, and the baby so long as she is not between us”, Ray compromised.

“But she can fall off the bed if she rolls”, Desiree disagreed shaking her head.

“Common Desiree! This baby has not moved anywhere since she has been sleeping between us. It is like ….she is a wall of some sort, just creating a barrier to our interaction”, Ray complained.

“I don’t think the baby is old enough to be moved now”, Desiree was adamant.


Ray looked at his friends and shrugged his shoulders. “Well, guys, I couldn’t make her change her mind. So, this parasite of a baby continued to limit my access to my wife. About a month later when she was now two months and about two weeks old, I was totally frustrated. I couldn’t take it anymore. You know, it was as if the baby knew something was going on. Every time, I wanted Desiree and me to dance to the silent drums, this jealous baby will be crying as if she had never eaten a meal in her entire life. So, happily I must say, Desiree will pick her up to breast feed until I am either tired of waiting or fell asleep in anger. I am sure that in Desiree’s mind, she probably feels that she has been saved by the baby bell. I am convinced that she trained that little girl to know precisely when to cry so that she can get out of rocking me to the beat. I am really sure of that.”

“Wow!”, Adam remarked. “Are you really serious?”


Ray did not respond to Adam’s question. Rather, he continued his painful narration. “One fateful Friday night, this rubbish routine started again. This time, I was determined to put an end to this monkey business. So, I waited. I sat down on the bed watching both of them in their mischievous behavior. She fed her from the left breast, then the right breast. I just stood there making eye contact with Desiree and didn’t utter a word. I am sure that she got a sense that something major was going down. After a very long time, the baby was already sleeping with her mouth on the breast. So, I told her that the baby is sleeping. To my surprise, she took the baby from the right breast and tried putting her on the left breast again in an attempt to wake the baby up in style. So, I shouted in a very calm voice asking her “why are you trying to wake the baby up?”

“I just wanted to make sure that she has had enough to drink”, she replied.


“Of course, you shouted in a very calm voice”, Kamal remarked in jest.

“That is your problem. I am very sure that I spoke softly”, Ray responded and continued his story. “I knew she was stretching the truth. Therefore, I remarked that I may not know anything about breast feeding, but by the time you are sleeping while eating, it does not matter whether you are a neonate or an old cargo, you have had enough food. She couldn’t argue against this.”


“I still have to burp the baby”, she emphasized while putting the baby on her left shoulder.


“I knew that I was witnessing nothing but well orchestrated delay tactics, but I was ready for it that day. Therefore, after another eternity, I said that if the baby has any air to belch, she would have done so by now. Desiree had no defense for my argument. So, she put the baby down in the middle of our bed again. At this point, I insisted that the baby sleeps in her baby cot in the baby’s room.”


“Why did we waste so much money buying all these stuff for the baby if she is never going to sleep in the cot?”, I asked rhetorically.


“She is still too young to sleep by herself in a cot”, Desiree replied.

“Absolutely not! I countered. Baby cots are for babies. She is definitely old enough. So, I put on the baby monitor equipment and picked the baby up to go and put her in her cot in her room. To my surprise, Desiree objected. After a few minutes of argument, we reached a compromise. So, I brought the cot from the baby’s room to our room so that she can sleep in her cot but in our room.”

“I guess that was a workable compromise”, Adam remarked.

“You would not believe this. As soon as I put the baby in her cot, she woke up and started crying. If I had not been the one who put her in the cot, it would have been impossible to convince me that Desiree did not sabotage the moment by deliberately waking Patricia up. I was so angry that I just left her in the cot. Of course, her mother quickly ran to the cot to pick her up. She put her on her shoulder and started petting her for another eternity. I am still convinced that her effort to make her fall asleep was really half-witted. After a protracted petting and singing lullaby for the baby, Desiree realized that I was pretty determined too.”


“I will need to check her diaper in case it is wet, so that I can change it”, she informed me.


“Go ahead”, I replied in a calm voice to reassure her that I am waiting and that I have no intention or plan to change my mind. She normally changes the baby’s diaper in our bedroom but this great midnight, she chose to take the baby to the bathroom to check her diaper. I sat at the edge of the bed and waited. I thought that I caught her prying into the bedroom to see if I was lying down on the bed, but she realized that I meant business. So, after another eternity, she came back to the room and the baby was sleeping. She then put the baby in her cot where she slept through whatever was remaining of the night. I did not bother to ask her why checking a diaper and even changing a diaper would take an inordinate amount of time, I couldn’t care. As far as I was concerned, this buffoonery had to end that night.”

“The vulture is really a patient bird”, Kamal chuckled.

“The challenge was that Paige was born precisely nine months later in March just like his sister”, Ray lamented.


Kamal and Adam burst into an uncontrollable laughter. Ray initially frowned, but later joined in the laughter as he could not help himself.


“So, you have an artificial unidentical twins!”, Kamal said in jest.


“Paige was born on the seventeenth day of March and Patricia was born on the nineteenth day of March. I had joked that time that Desiree should have just held on for two more days so that if they were born on the same day, at least we can do joint birthday for both of them every year. Anyway, Desiree did not think that my joke was funny at all”, Ray continued.


“Paige was a really mean pest. That little boy cries all day long. He cries for no reason. He cries when wants to sleep rather than just simply closing those big eyes of his. He cries when he wakes up. He cries when he wants to eat. He cries after eaten. He was always holding the mother’s dress. He was a truly annoying cry baby. He was a handful. Sometimes, I wish we could just put him up for adoption. Unfortunately, you can’t return a baby to customer service because you don’t want the baby anymore unlike what people do after the Thanksgiving holiday when they return unwanted items. Otherwise, Paige would have been an ideal candidate for return back to wherever his mother got him from. The only good thing about him though, he sleeps throughout the night. He almost never wakes up at night. After making everybody miserable throughout the day, I guess he will always be too tired at night. He sleeps at night and wakes up the following day to torment everybody all over again. Bryan was born about two and a half years after Paige”.


“Slow down skipper”, Kamal interjected. “Did you mean that you have three kids in less than four years?”.

“Yes”, replied Ray.

“But that would be enough to drive any woman to the end of the earth”, Kamal opined.

“No”, Ray disagreed. “Desiree is a homemaker and I help at home too”.

“How often do you really help and what exactly do you do?”, Kamal inquired.

“I take out the trash when asked to do so”, Ray explained with pride.

“Em…em…That is your great idea of helping out at home?”, Kamal queried.

“That is not all that I do. I also sometimes make breakfast on the weekends. It is not as if I could breastfeed those babies for her anyway”, Ray remarked becoming defensive.

“My friend, I am not criticizing you. I was just wondering if she was overwhelmed with those little gamma Rays she gave birth to for you”, Kamal joked.


Ray was not amused. Nonetheless, he continued. “I actually liked Bryan. He was easy going unlike his brother who was nothing but a pest when he was much younger. However, I noticed something crazy when Bryan was about four months old. Every time he is suckling, he will hold on to the other breast. Initially, I thought that it was my imagination. At this point Desiree has lost interest in any hanky-panky. She definitely preferred her kids over me.”

“Her kids?”, Kamal asked.


Ray simply ignored him and continued. “It was as if she was punishing me for those babies. You know, it was like you brought them here, they take your time…em…em… kind of a deal. Every time, I complained that I wasn’t getting her attention. She will reply “You are a grown man. You can take care of yourself. These kids need me”, Ray explained mocking a female voice rendition of the statement.


Adam and Kamal looked at each other and tried not to laugh.


“Like I was saying earlier, I became convinced that Bryan was nothing but a blood sucker because of his mocking while suckling behavior. I am very serious. When that little brat is sucking the left breast, he will hold on to the right breast. I know that he was mocking me saying to himself “I can have it and you can’t!”

“Common, Ray”, Adam interrupted. A four month old baby cannot process information like that.

“I think this little one did. Maybe his mother taught him to do so. I could see it in his eyes”, Ray concluded.

“I think you were just having paranoia because your love tank was always full”, Adam remarked.


“You can believe whatever you want. At that point, I made up my mind and I told Desiree that we were done with having kids and she agreed. We kept it that way until two years later when Lisa was born”, Ray recalled. He shook his head as if he did not know where the baby came from.


Kamal and Adam looked at each other and chuckled.


“How did that happen?” Kamal asked Ray with a fake facial expression of surprise.


“You know it is really difficult to say no to a beautiful lady in a transparent night gown”, Ray explained.

“I see”, Kamal voiced understanding while laughing.

“What about Lisa, your little girl?”, Adam chimed in sarcastically.

“Actually, Lisa is daddy’s darling little girl”, Ray replied with a smile on his face.

“I don’t get this. Did you just say that Lisa is your darling little girl?”, Kamal interjected.

“Yes”, Ray responded.

“I thought you called her a leech just now”, Kamal reminded him.

“Yeah! I did because she is still sucking time away from me like her other more virulent and peskier siblings”, Ray explained.

“Now I get your disordered thinking. You are blaming your kids for the lack of attention from their mother”, Kamal suggested.

“Well, if you put it that way, you will make it sound as if I am unreasonable”, Ray countered.

“Don’t you want Desiree to attend to your children?”, Adam asked Ray.

“I am not saying that she should not attend to them. My point is that it should not be at my expense. Think about it. How much time do you really think I need from her per day? Maybe thirty minutes? One hour? Two hours maximum? I just need a few minutes during waking hours and all the remaining time is for us to unwind together”, Ray explained his point.


“What exactly do you want from her? Remember that she is not Superwoman too. She would have been very busy all day long taking care of your little gamma rays”, Kamal opined.


“I do not think I am asking her for too much. A smile when I get home will always be appreciated and I will feel safe that I am where I can rest. Being asked “how was your day?” will definitely make me happy that somebody really cares about my well being. My boss at work doesn’t give a hoot about me; he just cares about the dollar sign. Coming home to my loving wife asking me how my day went will make me forget whatever I had to put up with at work. It really makes a big difference”, Ray reiterated.


“What if there are still issues to take care of? For example, if the children need to eat”, Kamal inquired.


“She can give them food about an hour before I close from work or better still, we can all have dinner together to improve bonding”, Ray replied.

“What if a child needs to use the bathroom during Ray’s protected time?”, Kamal asked sarcastically making the inverted commas with his fingers while describing the dedicated time for Ray.

“I know that you are being sarcastic, but the fact is that these children are all potty trained and if they were not, isn’t that why I buy diapers?”, Ray countered. “I really don’t think that the children should take all the time away from me. We need time to connect.”

“I am pretty sure the connections you had is what brought about four children in less than six years”, Kamal pointed out.

“My friend, I am not complaining about the number of children. There are many ways to avoid children if it is an utmost priority, but don’t tell me to be celibate as a married man”, Ray retorted.

After a few seconds of pause, Ray looked at Kamal and asked “So how much did Desiree pay you for this interrogation since you seemed to be on her side?”

“I will send her the bill later so that she can pass it on to you for prompt settlement. My man, I am just trying to see things from your wife’s perspectives.”, Kamal explained with a smile.


“Honestly, I think she just used me to have her babies. All she wanted was a good father for her kids. I mean, it was ridiculous. I wasn’t getting anything from her”, Ray lamented.


“But you have four children”, Kamal reminded him.


“Common big guy! It is not how frequently you do it that determines how many children you will have”, Ray remarked. Since we got married, maybe four times a week at the peak frequency, which was not even enough back then. Later, it went down to maybe once in two to three weeks. She was constantly saying no, no, no, no as if that is the only word she knows. 

A Trilogy From Blissful Gardenz Inc

From the Author

On the road of life

The destination is happily ever after

The husband is the driver

The wife is the road owner


If she make things smooth and easy

His head will be clear and not fuzzy

The drive will be an enduring bliss


Yes, she grants access to the road

But she did already when she said “I do”

Why now make things unnecessarily difficult?

Why create an environment that causes faults?


If she puts a speed bump

It makes him behave like a bum


If she puts a stop sign

It is annoying and makes him sigh


If she puts a toll gate

It makes him resign to fate


If she puts a road close

It breaks him and they stop being close.

To your husband, do not say no

To wise women, this is a no no.


Ray related that he complained bitterly. Both of them later agreed to seek mediation. He asked her to check with her primary doctor to run some tests in case she was having hormonal failure of some sort, but her results were all normal. Later she suggested that they go and seek help from our respected elder and Minister. They did and after he heard them, he explained to her that it is not a good thing for her to be denying her husband.

“Sir, he wants it everyday. Sometimes more than twice a day especially on some weekends”, Desiree countered.


“That is very healthy. I would have thought that you will be happy. It only showed that I love you and I want to be with you”, Ray responded.

“Why so many times? I mean, this is not food!”, Desiree shouted.


“Well, if you think of it as a bosom sandwich when the legs are the bread, then it will sound like food. Believe me, no man will choose any food over bosom sandwich”, Ray explained in a jovial manner trying to diffuse the tension.

“I think you just lack self control”, Desiree remarked pointing an accusatory finger at Ray.


“I lack self control? Are you kidding me? Self control in this regard is for those who are not married. Why did we get married in the first place?”, Ray asked her.

“I thought you said that you married me because you love me”, Desiree reminded him.

“Exactly my point. I am calling you for us to make ____”, Ray paused, opening is hands in anticipation of Desiree completing the statement with the missing word.


However, she did not complete the statement, but rather she rolled her eyeballs like teenagers often do when they realize that they lost an argument.


“At this point, the Minister weighed in”, Ray continued. “He advised that she should try her best and accommodate my needs. However, my wife felt that the minister was just supporting me as a man rather than looking out for her. I still think that her statement was ludicrous. Desiree claimed that we live in a biased patriarch system especially in religious institutions. I disagreed. My argument to her was that firstly, she picked the clergyman. Secondly, he is a man. Therefore, he understands issues with a man’s needs. If we were talking about menstruation, I asked “don’t you think a woman will give a better answer based on her understanding?”. Rather than showing understanding, she snarled at me accusing me of sexism. I still think she was unreasonable and her comment was totally absurd. The need for intimacy is not the same for a man and a woman. What do we have to do to make women understand this simple fact?”, he asked Adam and Kamal as he threw his hands in the air in utter disbelief.


“Things just degenerated, he continued. Anytime, she realizes that I was going to ask for her attention, she will suddenly develop this so called “headache”. It was as if there is a school where all women are thought to develop headaches when their husbands are seeking their pleasure. Sometimes, she will just stay in the kitchen pretending to be busy. There was a particular day that she was putting on her show of shame as usual. That day, I decided to monitor what she was doing in the kitchen at eleven thirty in the evening. I guessed that she was hoping that I would be asleep before she comes back upstairs. After watching her just sitting down in the kitchen for about ten minutes, I confronted her. She gave me the most bogus excuse any man has ever heard. Bear in mind that I am a lawyer, and I think I have heard a lot of nonsensical excuses in my line of work. She told me that she was trying to prepare dinner for the following day. Her answer was so bad and she realized it immediately too. She knew she had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. The really sad part was that whenever she felt she may not easily get out of it, then she will make the experience so terrible in order to make me lose interest in asking her next time. Being with her became like hospital food when you are on admission. It can be wonderful, fantastic and taste incredibly great but you have to be starving almost to death at the time you eat it. Desiree will also deliberately pick a fight over trifles. She reasons that if we are not in good times or if we are fighting, I will not be asking for her treasures down below.”


“How so?”, Adam asked.


“For instance, one Saturday morning, I wanted to work at home on an office project that I could not finish on Friday. Unfortunately, I forgot some of the needed documents at work and I had to go to the office to pick them up. She called me on the way and asked me to buy bread on my way back but she did not specify what type of bread. I stopped by the grocery store close to my work in the District of Columbia and I bought a two loaves of wheat bread. When I delivered them to her in the kitchen, she shouted at me that I bought the wrong bread”.


“What do you mean by wrong bread?”, I asked. I thought we always eat wheat bread.


“No, This is not the right wheat bread. You bought whole wheat bread. You were supposed to buy honey wheat bread”, she yelled.


“What is the big deal about that?”, I remarked. I then tried to diffuse the tension and said, “If the issue is the honey, we have honey at home. Just sprinkle some on the wheat bread and we have our own fresh homemade honey wheat bread.”


Desiree did not find this funny at all. She kept on talking and talking, on and on for a very long time. She took a cup and put it down without doing anything with it. Then, she took a pot from the cabinet and placed it on the granite counter top without doing anything with it. She just kept complaining. She later took a plate and placed it on the cooking pot and placed the pot cover on the plate and cooking pot with both being empty. At this point, I felt something was grossly wrong. So, I asked her if everything was okay with her. She retorted that she did not tell me that anything was wrong with her. As I turned to leave her in peace since I wasn’t making any headway, she told me to go and return the bread. It sounded like a bad joke.


“Let me get this straight. You want me to drive fifteen miles to DC and fifteen miles back home in order to return two loaves of bread”, I sought clarification.


“Yes”, she replied.

“And that makes sense to you?”, I asked with a tiny bit of sarcasm.

“Yes”, she affirmed.



“No. You must be joking”, I turned away and left. After some minutes, I returned to the kitchen, I tore one of the loaves of bread, took out a slice and ate it. Then, I turned to her and said, “You see, there is nothing wrong with this bread. We can manage it. I will remember honey wheat bread next time. From my perspective, this was not only to make her realize that the wheat bread was okay, but in a nice way, to also show her that I was not going to return the bread in a relatively non confrontational manner. However, Desiree did not take this lightly. She just kept quiet. At night when we retired to bed, I wanted us to go to wonderland in between the sheets. She started yelling and complaining about the stupid wheat bread from the morning. It was unbelievable. I tried as much as I can to calm down because I already knew that this was just a ploy for her to get away from her comfort duty to me.


So I held her right hand and said to her, “my dear, if we are having a disagreement or even in a worst case scenario, if we are fighting, that does not mean we cannot travel to the land of pleasure together.”


“Leave me alone”, she replied. “We cannot be doing anything together if we are fighting. This is about my emotion.”


“Okay, let us resolve our differences”, I said trying to reach a very necessary quick settlement.


“Return the wheat bread”, she blurted.


“The partially eaten wheat bread from morning?”, I asked, being quite surprised


“The other loaf has not been opened”, she noted.


“You are unbelievable”, I replied, being unable to hide my frustration. She just said no throughout. I fell asleep that night with profound anger. I didn’t talk to her for two days afterwards. Then, it dawned on me that she had her way. She achieved what she set out to accomplish which was to ensure that there will be no action for my passion. She accomplished her objective. She won. I lost.


Out of the blue, Adam chuckled. His friends looked at him wondering what was going on in his befogged mind.

“I just remembered a question that I was asked by Dr Omar Omonla many years ago”, Adam explained.


“The same Dr Omar Omonla of the Doctor from Mamuria fame?”, Ray asked.

“Yes, the one and only”, Adam replied.

“You knew him in person?”, Ray asked being surprised.

“Of course. We were buddies during our residency training in Internal Medicine together. He later went to specialize in infectious diseases.”

“So, what happened?”, Kamal inquired.

“When Omar first came to the United States, he was fascinated by the Star Spangled Banner and how often we pay homage to the flag at many functions and sporting events. He read the anthem and compared it with Mamuria’s National anthem. He later asked me what we meant by the land of the free and the home of the brave. I teased him saying that the land of the free means that the women are free. They do whatever they want and get away with it. That was why the statue of liberty is female. Then I informed him that the brave are the men who put up with them. So, listening to how badly Desiree is treating you is really making me think that maybe I was correct. It really takes a brave man to put up with a woman who thinks she is free to do whatever she wants and refuses her husband as she pleases. Congratulations, Ray. You are officially a brave man”, Adam concluded with sarcasm.


Ray turned to Kamal and remarked, “This is wrong. It is unfair.”

Kamal agreed and asked “but what can we do?”


“It is a bad move for any woman to deny her husband’s request on the basis of a fight. I mean, if they are fighting and he still wants her, it is because they can easily resolve their differences. It is going to help solve the problem. However, if it doesn’t, they can resume their fight afterwards. That will only make it a true sweet and sour tango. It will be like a timed ceasefire during a battle. You can spend the time to bury the dead, attend to the wounded, get comfort packages to those trapped in war and get reinforcement for the soldiers. It does not mean that the war is over. I think it is just humane”, Ray opined.


“I know that women will often say that it is their mental state issues, but what about the man’s mental state issue too?”, Adam queried.

A Trilogy From Blissful Gardenz Inc

From the Author

Healing with the dealing

When he approaches you for that dealing

To help him take care of that feeling

Please don’t say no to his calling

Just because you’re quarrelling

Doing it may not be appealing

But coming to his arms rather than leaving

Will put you on the path of marital healing


“After sometime, I guess that she got “empowered”, using the new marriage ruining buzzword from single mothers everywhere. It was as if she was trying to sign up for membership in SMN.

“What is SMN?”, Adam inquired.

“Single Mothers’ Network”, Ray replied. It is my way of describing those single people who give marriage ruining advice to unsuspecting wives. Anyway, Desiree has stopped pretending to be sick. She is no longer making excuses for saying no. She will just tell me straight up to leave her alone”, Ray continued.


“She constantly told me that it is her body and she has the right to say no as she pleases. I started wondering if she was getting her fix somewhere else. It got so bad that I started thinking of what to do including divorcing her. Eventually, I had to open up to my sister who had come to visit us when she realized that there were major problems in my kingdom. She recommended finding a female family counselor. So, I brought up the idea of seeking professional help for our marriage and Desiree agreed. I actually allowed her to pick any counselor she wanted and she picked one Dr Nitah Witherspoon. I call her Dr Nit Wit. She was ridiculous to say the least. We went to her office in an upscale part of the Metro area in Bethesda. You will think that by being in the same city as the National Institute of Health that she will have some useful knowledge by passive diffusion from breathing air close to the mother of all research institutions.


After we had explained what was going on to her and I complained that I wasn’t getting enough attention, she had the nerves to quiz me. She asked me many ridiculous questions like “how many times have you written poems for her like you used to do before marriage?”, “how many times have you given her a day off at home so that you let her be a woman and treat herself to feminine things?”, “how often do you take her out to dinner just the two of you to give her some respite from the battalion children you squeezed out of her in close succession?”. She went on and on pestering me with these insane questions. It was as if I was on trial for neglect or abuse or something. In the end, she suggested that I should go and join a gym to burn some calories every night so that I don’t have too much energy for an exhausted housewife. I could not believe it. I actually thought maybe she was a fake doctor and I later checked her credentials. To my surprise, she was really a genuine allopathic doctor. I still think the medical board should seize her certificate and suspend her practice license.


I voiced my opinion that I feel that this issue of “no means no” thing is applicable for boyfriends and girlfriends who are not married. I also mentioned to them that a husband should not be told that he is “lucky” when his wife says yes to be in between the sheets with him. After all, husbands don’t tell their wives and children that they are lucky when they do their responsibilities. A lot of time, the husband has to suck it up and do a job he does not like. He swallows his pride and put up with a boss that he detests so that he can pay the house rent, put food on the table, pay the school fees of the children and buy clothes for them. It was a really contentious consultation. Later, I noticed that Dr Nit Wit doesn’t have a wedding ring even though she looks quite mature.


“We argued back and forth for a while with both Desiree and Dr Nit Wit conspiring against mankind. After trying quite unsuccessfully for them to be reasonable, I decided to change strategy and I went on a defensive offense. I turned to Dr Nit Wit and addressed her directly.”


“So, if my wife is feeling tired of cooking, can I order take out or get somebody to assist her with the cooking in the house?”, I asked her.


“Of course yes”, came a very quick response and her face came to life with a smile.


“And you think that if she is tired of cleaning her own home, I could contract a cleaning services company to help out without hurting her feelings?”, I continued.


“Absolutely”, she replied. “I don’t think she will mind that at all.”


“So, if she does not feel like comforting me between the sheets, I can get somebody else to lend her a hand in that regard also?”, I asked while trying to look genuine in my inquisition.


“No you can’t”, came the reply simultaneously from her and my wife who had hitherto been quiet and just nodding to the mountain of support she has been getting from Dr Nit Wit.


“Why not?”, I asked rhetorically. “It is still trying to help her in her duties”, I noted.


“Afterwards, my wife and Dr Nit Wit just kept saying things that I cannot vividly recall, but they made absolutely no sense at all”, Ray concluded.


He then turned to his friends and opined, “I think that a wife who is constantly refusing to share her husband’s bed for whatever bogus reason is in dereliction of duty”.

“I agree”, Adam and Kamal replied in unison.

(Author’s note: Poll for readers: If a wife frequently and persistently denies her husband of intimacy, is he justified to have extramarital affairs?)

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A Trilogy From Blissful Gardenz Inc

From the Author

“How many times should a wife be excused for saying no to her husband before he is allowed to seek an alternate source of comfort?”, Adam asked.


“Think baseball. Three strikes”, Ray suggested quickly noting that the issue under consideration is a game of balls and sticks too.


Adam and Kamal shook their heads in agreement. The suggestion was reasonable to them.


“If a wife says no to her husband’s love advances without serious justifications three times, he should feel free to go and take care of himself”, Ray continued his ranting. We need to address this issue as a society. It is ridiculous how men get treated in this regard. You may have a man who is not getting enough or may not even be getting anything at home with all these nonsensical “leave me alone”, “it is my body”, “I am not interested” raining constantly on him from his wife, nobody condemns that. The poor guy gets treated as if he is married to a nun and he gets “none”. Now, when the man now seeks his succor somewhere else, then they accuse him of cheating on his wife, they accuse him of being unfaithful to some stupid vows and the society expects him to apologize. I really think that the wife should be the one to apologize for putting her husband in that predicament. She should be the one who stands behind those microphones in the press conference to say “I failed in my sacred duty. I did not keep my vow to honor my husband. I failed my husband. Please forgive me”. Enough of all these rubbish! If a man is accused of having extramarital affairs, we should first ask him if he is getting enough from his wife”, Ray opined.


“I totally agree with you. Going into a marriage is like a trade between a buyer and a seller”, Adam chimed in facing Ray.

“Who is the buyer and who is the seller?”, Kamal inquired.


“Of course, the woman is the seller and the man is the buyer. This is always a sellers’ market. That is why the man is seeking the woman to accept his proposal and negotiate things like marriage gifts, dowry in some cultures, those dinners and movies et cetera”, Adam replied.


“So, if marriage is a trade, what are they trading?”, Kamal asked sarcastically.


“Body fluids!”, Adam replied with a straight face. He then turned directly to make an eye contact with Kamal and said “I agree with Ray. In my candid opinion, if a wife keeps telling her husband to leave her alone, she is saying to him in a very clear language to take his business elsewhere. It is akin to daring him to find the same product elsewhere”.


“Anyway, let me conclude what happened in Dr Nit Wit’s office, Ray continued. At the end of the consultation, she suggested to my wife to try and accommodate me once or twice a week. They both made it sound as if they were doing me a favor. I felt as if I was in an extra special marital solitary confinement where they will allow my manhood to leave its prison once or twice a week. I still could not wrap my head around the belief that a wife can tell her husband that his is “lucky” when she allows him to get between her legs. Shouldn’t it be obvious to everybody that he is entitled to it? Why else did he marry her?” , Ray asked rhetorically.


“I was still very upset when we left the doctor’s office, but I was determined to make it work. Twice a week is surely better than twice a month, I submitted, even though it was still grossly insufficient. Unfortunately, things did not get better. Rather, my wife adopted BAM.”


“What is BAM?”, Adam asked


“It is a term I coined for the sort of intimacy she was giving me afterwards. It is “Banging a Mannequin”.


“Have you banged a mannequin before?”, Kamal inquired midway between been serious and joking.

“Of course not”, Ray replied, but I can’t imagine it being worse. I think banging a real mannequin may even be better. At least the mannequin is not going to be cursing you. I mean, Desiree will just lie down there like a piece of wood. Her demeanor will be akin to “just do whatever you want and leave me alone”. It was horrible. Should a wife cook badly because her husband likes her food but he is gaining weight and she wants him to lose weight? Should a wife be terrible in bed in order to discourage her husband from bothering her?”, Ray asked rhetorically.

A Trilogy From Blissful Gardenz Inc

From the Author

She is breaking my heart

When I am in the mood

She lies down like a piece of wood

Instead of acting like a queen

She stays motionless like a mannequin


“I couldn’t help being cranky all the time. I lost interest in playing with our children. I see all of them as extensions of their mother who is constantly maltreating me. A few months later, I got to the point of thinking of divorcing her to salvage whatever was left of my dignity and manhood. Unfortunately, we got a distress call from Patricia’s teacher from school asking us to come for a parent-teacher conference together. I thought it was odd, but I wanted to know what was going on. So, we went to meet her teacher. She showed us what Patricia had written as her class assignment on animals.”

A Trilogy From Blissful Gardenz Inc

From the Author

Animals

If I have wings like a bird of prey

I will surely fly away

From mummy and daddy

If I can run fast like a cheetah

I will surely run away

From mummy and daddy

If I can swim like a shark

I will sure swim away

From mummy and daddy

A Trilogy From Blissful Gardenz Inc

From the Author

“Honestly, I was heartbroken. Her poetry sounded great but the message was a disaster. She was feeling all the tension at home and I had not noticed it. I actually thought they were too young to notice that anything was amiss. I also felt that they were all on the side of their mother from whatever she intoxicated them with from her breast milk. It seemed that the kids were bearing the brunt of this impasse. So, I decided to give Dr Nit Wit’s suggestions a trial, maybe we can press a pause button or a reset button and get our acts together. I paid Brenda, our neighbor’s daughter to watch the kids while I took Desiree to a luxurious restaurant for dinner a few days later. I gave Brenda our cell phone numbers, the restaurants phone number, and a key to our reserve car with instruction to call us for anything of concern. I gave Desiree a dozen roses, a box of her favorite chocolate and a card in which I had written a fence-mending poem.” 

A Trilogy From Blissful Gardenz Inc

From the Author

Holding on

Being with you

Brings me comfort and happiness

Eating with you

Brings me strength and joyfulness

Talking with you

Brings me joy and I avoid loneliness

Sharing with you

Brings me health and cheerfulness

Going with you

Brings me life and lightheartedness

Intimacy with you

Brings me satisfaction and blissfulness

Arguing with you

Brings me sorrow and gloominess

Fighting with you

Brings me misery and profound sadness

Let’s hang on to hope

After all we are not on dope

Let’s hang in there.

Let’s not give up here.

I love you

A Trilogy From Blissful Gardenz Inc

From the Author

“She read the card and seemed to be very happy. I was elated thinking we are going back on track. I thought that it was going to be like the good old days and she will come flying back home to Papa. How wrong I was! The dinner date was a disaster. She was constantly calling home every five minutes to ask about the children. It was annoying! She called Brenda to ask if the children were playing. She called back to ask if they were thirsty. She called to ask if they were not fighting. She called to ask if any of the children used the restroom. Believe me, by the time she called Brenda that she wanted to talk to each child, I realized that she did not want to be with me at all. It was too obvious that she would rather be with her children. The dinner date was a colossal waste of time and money and I lost my appetite. I was just an unfortunate bystander in her life. I felt used. It was as if she just wanted me around to fertilize her eggs whenever she wanted and spend money on her children. Well, maybe I should be thankful that we are not a species of Praying Mantis that the females eat the males after reproduction. Who knows, maybe this is even her own version of cannibalizing her male partner”. Ray concluded with dejection.


“Maybe you should think of something positive about her? That may help you get through these tough times”, Kamal suggested.


“There is nothing positive about a wife who keeps her husband hungry and thirsty in the midst of plenty”, Ray replied and renewed his ranting. “I wonder whatever is going on in the minds of these so-called human and animal rights bigots. If a person ties down her cat or dog and did not feed it, all the animal rights people will carry placards. Yet, our society not only condones, but overtly encourages a woman to tie her husband down and not comfort him. This is certainly an emotional abuse that women deliberately inflict on good husbands. This is a human rights abuse that nobody is addressing. If a woman allows somebody who is not married to her get in between her legs, I guess he is lucky and he will probably feel lucky too. This will never be applicable to her husband. It is his right, and he is entitled to it. This ridiculous mentality of women thinking that they can eat their cakes and have them needs serious reevaluation. This may be part of the reasons why marriages are not lasting long, and men are choosing not to marry. After all, if we put morality aside, for quite successful men, it is cheaper not to marry and you can have as many girlfriends with full benefits as you want. Why be responsible for a woman and her children if you can get away with just paying child support? Moreover, if you don’t even want children, a quick trip to your urologist for vasectomy will prevent child support from chasing you anywhere. Furthermore, it is not too difficult that dinner alone even without the movie can get you savoring the forbidden fruit. Wise women would not say no to their husbands.”


Ray took a sip of his drink and continued his ranting “Another thing that makes me really crazy is that Desiree does not attend to my needs anymore, even outside the sheets. For instance, when I come home from work, she is quick to point out that there is left over rice in the fridge that I should microwave it if I want to eat. There is nothing like serving me my food. Meanwhile, she will always attend to the flimsy requests from her children. Whenever, I complain and raise this issue with her, she is always reminding me that these are my children. She is quick to point out that I am a grown man and should be able to take care of myself. So, imagine my horror when we were at a social function and somebody asked her about her children and she responded that she has four children and I am her fifth child. I was livid and rebuked her never to ever say such a thing ever again that it was an insult. Although, I later felt bad for rebuking her in public, but I had a lot of pent-up anger”.


Ray later continued after a pause. “A few weeks after this disastrous outing, I remembered a popular saying that friends do influence friends and I really thought that I had found a possible angle that could help resolve our issue.

Part one; Section three

Before the ocean dries up

“I really could not help thinking that if a wife is not answering the call of her husband or she is frequently struggling with answering the call of her husband adequately, the husband should have the right to call another girl to help his wife. So, I thought of calling her friends for help”, Ray continued.


At this point Adam gave a sigh of relief and smiled. This made Ray to pause.


“Who did you think I was going to call?”, he asked Adam with a lot of curiosity.


“Em… em… ghostbusters?”, Adam replied and burst into an uncontrollable laughter.


“You were thinking, that I was going to call a call girl, weren’t you?”, Ray asked.


“I invoke the fifth amendment on that one”, Adam replied. “But think about it for a minute, you used the word “call” three times in a sentence while talking about a girl”.


Ray shook his head and continued. “When I analyzed her friends, that was when it hit me that her friends may actually be contributing significantly to the problem”, Ray concluded.


“What made you think so?” Kamal asked.

Author’s note: Thank you for your interest. The book is now published 

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